Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Cranky doesn't even begin to describe it...

It, of course, being me. I don't know what is wrong with me lately, but I have been down in the dumps and can't figure out why.
On the outside, all is well and good.
Let me list the good things.
  • I am healthy.
  • Mr. Pit is healthy. And he loves me to boot, what more could a girl ask for?!
  • Lil' Pup is healthy and hasn't run away since we got the electric fence, horray!
  • I have a job.
  • Mr. Pit has a job.
  • Both jobs regularly send paychecks.
  • Health insurance is covered.
  • The mortgage has and will be paid.
  • The cars are being paid for.
  • We even have money for the occassional (1x a week or so) dinner out at a place of our choosing.
  • I have gotten nice new things this past month that make me smile when I look at them.
  • My family is healthy and awesome. My little brother is moving home from California and my Mom couldn't be happier. I am also excited to have him home as he is a super fun partner in crime.
Now, the things that have driven me up a wall and to near tears in the last 2 weeks.
  • I want to start a business but don't have a business plan, just a feeling and an 'idea'. This makes people nervous. This makes me angry. TRUST the idea.
  • Since no one TRUSTS the idea (except for M), no one thinks its a good idea to sink $3000 into a machine and materials. This again makes me angry. I have to start somewhere!
  • My boss is gone for 2 weeks (good) I have to do all my work and his (bad). This is a great opportunity for me to show my chops at work (good). I am terrifed (bad).
  • Home heating oil is expensive. $3.39 a gallon to be exact. Therefore, our house is cold. Always.
  • I was 3/4 of the way done my needlepoint (good)(note: most of this being done in sort of dim lighting). I was outside in the bright sun yesterday and realized that I had bought the wrong color to continue the pattern. I had to rip out hundreds of stitches. This almost made me weep. And then stab someone with my needlepoint needle. (bad)
  • The weather outside is awesome (good). I am stuck in my office (bad)
  • Both my friends in the office (that's right, I only have 2) are gone. There is nothing to do but work (and blog, though I am not really supposed to be doing that) (both bad)
  • I am PMSing big time. This, of course is better than the alternative (being pregnant)...or is it? (btw, I have totally had babies on the brain lately...wtf? I am SO not ready, so why do I keep thinking about it?)
  • As I said above, my little brother is moving home. He is being an idiot about finding a job. This infuriates me beyond belief. Why do I care so much? He is 25 and can take care of himself, job or no job. Problem is, I can't STOP being his big sister. I can't stop telling him what to do and how to do it. It's ingrained in me.
  • And to top it all off...I have no Halloween costume. This is not earth shattering horrible news. This also makes me want to cry at various points in the day.

So, as you can see. I have NOTHING to complain about. Not a gosh darn thing. Poor me that I can't drop $3k on an embroidery machine while people lose thier homes in the wake of the sub-prime mortgage collapse. Poor me that I have to work all day making good money while people as qualified as me (if not more) lost thier jobs last week in the "reduction in force" of 2008.

Maybe if I took up running it would help. I hear it boosts seratonin? Can't I just take a pill and cook the corn? (name that movie people). Basically I want the easy way out. I want to wake up tomorrow and be in a good mood. I want to NOT care about the things I can't control (my little brother, the weather). I want to not drive my amazing husband to write emails that say "I feel like you are sinking, I want to help you".

But please. Someone. HELP ME.

1 comment:

42 said...

Ok, that email from your dear husband makes me want to cry a little. We'll write our business plan, we'll come up with a budget, and we'll put together a timeline. To quote our dear friend Ryan - "you're going to feel this way until you don't anymore" so just recognize it for what it is and think about the good stuff.